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The Rules of Love

AUTHOR: Richard Templar

Rule 16 - Don’t tar new partners with old brushes

Most of us have a past of some kind. Even very early on the most innocent of teenage romances leaves us with some kind of history. And it’s very easy to let that get in the way of the next romance.

We’re programmed to assume that the future will work pretty much the same as the past, unless there’s a good reason to think otherwise. If your hair has always looked smarter brushed in the past, it’s wise to brush it again today if you want to look good. If you liked bananas the last time you ate one, you’ll probably like them again next time. If you’ve always been good with numbers, this job which calls for good numberwork shouldn’t be too much of a challenge. If your last partner cheated on you, your next partner will.

Woah! Hold it! Rewind, rewind…scrap that last example. Yes, lots of things in life follow the same basic principle every time, but that doesn’t apply to partners. All those other examples were things about you, and you’re still the same person. But each partner is new. This new partner comes with a clean sheet, and there’s nothing to say they resemble your last partner at all. In fact, if you really thought they did, what are you doing with them in the first place?

Rule 80 - Never be too busy for loved ones

I’m as guilty here as anyone. It’s so easy to think ‘I’m tired. I’ll give them a call tomorrow,’ and before you know it a dozen tomorrows have gone by and you still haven’t called.

And it’s really not good enough. If you want a strong relationship with your family you have to work at it, just as you do with your partner. And that means investing time in it. You need to find time to see them even if they live a long way away, and you need to put effort into calling them between times to keep in touch. It’s so easy to fall into benign neglect. You didn’t mean to not speak for three months, it just sort of happened. Well, don’t let it.

Rule 86 - Your best friend was once a stranger

Think about your very best couple of friends. Go on. Ok, now recall how you first met them. What did you think of them? Did you know they’d end up as one of your best mates? Were you wary of them to start with? Or perhaps envious? Or dismissive? Go on – remember how you felt about them that first meeting.

Every stranger you meet could turn out to be as good a friend as any you have already. Good friends are one of the most vital assets in life – you already know that – so why do we sometimes make it so hard for them to find us? We are sometimes tempted to stick to our own group of established friends and not to branch out. But just think what you could be missing. That attitude could have prevented you finding the friends you already have.

Read more from Richard Templar…

The Rules of Love
The Rules of Love
Richard Templar
Retail Price: £10.99
Some people seem to be effortlessly brilliant at relationships. These people make friends easily, have a partner utterly devoted to them and for whom many would do anything. What do they know the rest of us could learn from? The Rules of Love reveals the secrets of lasting, fulfilling, life enhancing relationships.
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